Preface

           If you peruse a bookstore - virtual or real - under the "Self-Help" section you will find hundreds - maybe thousands - of titles. If you flick through some of these books you will notice that the authors in many cases - or at least in the majority of books that I have read - use a fairly standard format and approach: they begin the book and often each chapter with quotes from fairly established and popular authors. This approach has two goals: 1. Putative legitimacy and authority and 2. Affinity grouping, which is better known as marketing. For if you opened this book and found a quote from say Paolo Coelho, Tielhard de Chardin, St. Exupery, The Dalai Lama, Wayne Dyer, Caroline Myss, Ram Dass, John Lennon, John Gray, Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Rollo May, Jesus Christ, Einstein, Rilke, Goethe, Nietzsche, Wittgenstein, the Bhagavad Gita, Shakespeare or another "best-selling" author and authority, you would assume that I - the writer - had read and agreed with and admired that other thinker's work that you also have read and mostly likely agree with or admire. Thus, although there are many positive tools to gain from reading myriad "self-help" books, if you analyze most of them philosophically and psychologically you will find that they are tautological, they define and buttress each other without offering a new and solid base upon which the reader can gain a sure footing; they rely on each other for authority and legitimacy when all they really offer is one of the same old perspectives in a new container. Most of these books have "assumptions" that go unquestioned. That is not to say that they are wrong or inaccurate; it is merely to suggest that there may be other perspectives - hopefully from outside our culture - that are able to shed some light on the hidden assumptions upon which most of our thoughts, actions, and emotions are based.

           On the other hand, there has been a spate of self-help books that I refer to as "Buddhism-lite." These books take what is common sense in Eastern cultures and water it down to make it palatable for us here in the West. Since the proliferation of communications during the last century has enabled us to examine similarities and differences between world cultures, there has been a convergence of intelligence across the world. And yet it is remarkable there remain so many judgments and prejudices, so many conflicts and unnecessary tragedies. I do espouse many of the ideas of my predecessors; I am, in fact, "standing on the shoulders" of giants. However, the standard format that is often used in Self-Help books I will do my best to avoid here. I will provide an "Introductions" to introduce myself and how as a mere mortal I came to write this book and how I came to some of my conclusions, but after that my intent will be to raise questions, to destabilize, to demonstrate that consciousness and paradigm under which the problems were created will be unable to address the root causes of those problems.

           So allow me to begin by proposing that your unquestioned defense mechanism - your mental taste-buds - may tell you to be disappointed with this book because it does not fit into the scientific mental paradigm for what a book is or should be or should do or should provide. You may not be aware that there you have certain mental constructs for what a book is or should be - words, in one particular language, usually right-to-left, 85-1000 pages, a beginning, a middle, a conclusion, a cover, photo of the author on inside jacket, testimonials from prestigious thinkers on back cover, chapters, a table of contents - but you do. And you also have a mental construct or expectation of how information is normally or should be conveyed to you. What I am saying is that, thus far, you have had very little choice in the way you see things and the definitions of "book," "compact disc," and "movie" have all changed radically in our new digital age. Now I am asking you to be equally open minded regarding the possible contents of a book. Unconsciously you are possible used to being spoon-fed information that you already agree with on some level or that reinforces your extant beliefs. But what if the paradigm upon which all of our beliefs are based is unfavorable, inefficient, destructive or even self-destructive? Repeatedly in the book I will write "I don't know who discovered water but I doubt it was a fish." If this book is successful then you will have to rise above the warm and comfortable ocean of thoughts that you swim in in order to grasp a new perspective of it.

           This book does not fit into the current "scientific" paradigm because there is very little scientific research adduced herein; this book is theoretical and philosophical. Thereafter sociologists and research psychologists can test and probe and survey to check to see if the theories and observations and generalizations are accurate. But one of the theories of this book is that scientists can and often do "scientifically" prove that phenomena are scientifically reasonable - e.g. the world is flat, leeching cures illnesses, witches don't float - only to be proven incorrect or inaccurate at a later time. Thus, rather than being disappointed by my particular style or lack thereof, my intention is to make you question the foundations of your thinking processes. Obviously this is tantamount to using language to deconstruct language or describe the ineffable: it is possible but only if you can cast aside certain assumptions - assumptions that you may not even know that you have.

            And this, I believe, is what is needed to solve the problems endemic to our current culture: a fresh perspective, a new way of seeing things. But there is obviously great resistance to the unknown and people are often more comfortable with known inefficiency than what is unknown.

            Again, "I don't know who discovered water but I doubt it was a fish." Looking back on our culture from the year 3000 anthropologists may look with surprise at the 50% divorce rate, high rates of depression, chronic wars, and corporate take-overs, lack of substantial improvement of the standard of living for many people, and draw conclusions that we are unable to see or currently understand. History tells us that perspectives and paradigms change quite often; we have been taught or conditioned that our perspective - capitalism, Darwinism, money, clothing, the English language - is scientifically proven to be the best or most advanced way of conducting a civilized society. And yet if history is any indicator of the future, people - if there are still human beings inhabiting the planet earth - will look back on us from the year 3000 and most likely refer to us as heathens, philistines - ignorant, shortsighted, unsophisticated dolts - that had no idea that many of the practices that we consider "normal" and even smart and beneficial are actually causing the very things - depression, destruction, alienation, wars, conflict and untold malices, afflictions and diseases - that we are supposedly trying to eradicate.

            I have observed certain phenomena and although our way of conducting a civilization is the most advanced hitherto, it does not appear from my perspective to be capable of permanently sustaining itself. I aim to provide fresh insights into some phenomena that we agree are problematic and undesirable. That is, of course, if we can agree that the human condition must not inherently be based on conflict and unhappiness. If you are firmly convinced - as you may well be - that there is an unchanging, base "human condition" and that human beings must be conflictual and unhappy - essentially, "unwell" - then my theories will resonate as twaddle to you. I am asking you to suspend both your beliefs and disbeliefs while you read this book as you would if you were reading a science fiction novel. If you want to gain new insights into your current way of being and your belief system, then you will appreciate this imaginative journey once it is over.

            After graduating high school I went on a 25 year journey that has resulted in this book. And I have come to the conclusion that there are some insidious ramifications to being privileged and advanced and sophisticated in the way that our generation of Americans is privileged, advanced and sophisticated, and that these ramifications are now coming to light; these unintended consequences of being so-called functional and civilized members of our society may actually hinder or preclude us from feeling completely loved, loveable, appreciated, respected, fulfilled, satisfied, happy, positive, calm, peaceful, compassionate, and passionate - and most specifically "at ease." Dis-ease and un-ease - distress and stress - are rampant and pervasive in our culture. Many people perpetually feel uneasy, anxious, stressed-out, incomplete, as if something is always wrong in their lives or something is missing from their lives, or as if they are someone's victim, or as if other people have an easier time with more freedom and less worries. "If only I had x or looked like y or had chosen a different profession, or was or was not married to him or her, then I would be happy," people seem to frequently articulate in one way or another. I have even known many people who are literally worshipped by millions of adoring fans but in the privacy of their own authentic selves are truly miserable, unsatisfied, and uninspired.     

            In our society people consciously and subconsciously construct personas to show the world - a "face to meet the faces," as T.S. Eliot so accurately described it. And many people have sufficient leisure time to "express themselves," i.e. try on many faces, which is tantamount to trying out new theories about who they think they should "be" or may want to "be," on unsuspecting friends, family members, acquaintances, lovers, and business associates. Insecurity about who we really are and what we are really doing on this planet undermines much of many people's existences in many ways. And then the kicker - "low self-worth" (as if each person was a commodity with a certain attached value) - foments resentments that cause the daily self-destructive implosions, dramas, addictions, and histrionics that we witness both in popular culture and in our "real lives."

           So if you have ever asked yourself, "How did our culture get this way - with so many well-fed and well-bred people feeling alienated, unwanted, unloved, disconnected, and ultimately unloveable - and what can we do to move back onto a healthier track?" then you have come to the right place. In this book I will amalgamate the studies of psychology, sociology, philosophy, and spirituality to try to comprehend the real reasons why so many people suffer from negative and self-destructive thoughts, depression, loneliness, sundry afflictions and addictions, and why suicide seems like a reasonable answer to what many of us consider to be the insurmountable problems of daily life in our culture.

           Although I try to avoid citing herein the great thinkers I have read over the past 25 years of traveling and studying, it saddens me to report that there are no original thoughts in this book. I consider myself an aggregator of information and having wrestled will all of the disparate viewpoints of the thousands of professors, lecturers, gurus, instructors, consultants and writers that I have experienced during my journey. I have observed certain phenomena and drawn certain conclusions that may or may not be interesting to you. If the theories in this book are accurate then at least some mainstream American people will find my "outside-the-box" thinking to be "crazy." However, there exists the possibility that life is more appealing to those unfettered by certain mental paradigms - the software of Western Culture - that is running our individual and collective operating systems.

           As a joke, because I think that some levity and humor is very important to enjoying existence, I would confess to you that an alternative title for this book could be "It is Never Too Late to Blame Your Culture." Yes, what I am saying is that the individual things that are problematic and/or we consider and judge to be undesirable may well be the unintended ramifications of otherwise constructive phenomena of our relatively orderly and productive society. For example, in practical terms, later in the book I will suggest that the very high divorce rate in our culture is the result of a deep-seated fear of abandonment that is inculcated into us unwittingly during the individuation process; the way we were taught to be independent - the distinctive American pride in "going it alone" and discovering new frontiers - that mentality may have a detrimental side in terms of personal well-being, relationships, and being interdependent with others. Or, more precisely, what if our (mostly hitherto unquestioned) assumptions about and beliefs in Darwinism and competitive capitalism were actually inadvertently causing or contributing to some of the undesirable conditions such as divorce and general malaise as well as personal crises such as alienation, depression, ADHD, alcoholism, drug addiction, etc.? Or, after hundreds of years of tremendous productivity and fortitude and entrepreneurship and conquering, what if we have exhausted new and foreign things to produce and places to conquer and the same traits that made us great are now actually self-destructive?

           So please allow yourself to let your defenses down and open your mind to new possibilities - there may just well be more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in our philosophy and science.

Thank you,

Ira Israel

Berkeley, CA

2009

 

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